Everyone can feel worried and anxious at times, especially when faced with a stressful situation. However, normally when the situation that triggers our anxiety is over, the anxiety eases. But for some people, this feeling of anxiety can be ongoing, it can feel overwhelming, and can occur on a day-to-day basis.
Anxiety can show up in different ways. For example, it could be a general background feeling of unease, or it may feel like a sense of dread that something bad is going to happen. When we are feeling anxious, our bodies, thoughts and behaviours can all be affected and these can manifest in one or more ways:
When feelings of anxiety emerge, our brain is interpreting a situation as a threat and is ensuring that the body gets ready to protect itself, by preparing to fight, run away or freeze. We have no control over this response, it is our body’s way of attempting to keep us safe from a perceived danger. This means that our heart will beat faster to pump blood more quickly around the body, our breathing increases, we start to sweat, we might feel shaky as the body prepares itself for action. This is a normal response to a stressful situation, and it usually eases when the triggering situation has died down. However, when this physical response within the body is set off frequently with relatively mild, day to day 'triggers' and the person is left in a more permanent state of anxiety and worry, anxiety then becomes an issue needing attention.
There are ways you can help your child if they are showing some of the signs of anxiety listed above. Tell them you understand how they are feeling and would like to help and some of our suggested techniques:
Another type of anxiety is known as ‘Separation Anxiety’. Being distressed when separating from a parent or carer is usual behaviour for infants and very young children and is known as separation anxiety. It develops at the age of about 6 months and can last until about the age of three or four. However, for some children, this can persist for much longer, and can become an ongoing concern. We are finding that lately there are more and more children who are suffering from separation anxiety than ever before.
But why is this happening?
Some tips and techniques if your child is struggling to separate
Encouraging your child to develop a healthy sense of autonomy and resilience, will help them to eventually grow into a confident, independent adult. Parents who support the development of autonomy, are involved in their child’s life, but at the same time are encouraging their independence and problem-solving skills. Here are some suggestions of ways to support your growing child’s autonomy and independence.
Connecting with your child, giving them an opportunity to talk and be listened to, is important for their sense of wellbeing and can help them voice their worries or anxieties.
We have created a little booklet to offer suggestions and ideas of how to manage anxiety which you may find useful. Click here for our Toolbox of Ideas to help with anxiety.
If you feel that your child needs more support to help them with their anxiety, please visit our page Support for Families This explains how we offer 1:1 counselling sessions for children and young people and will signpost you to someone who can help.
Meditation, yoga and breathing techniques all help to calm us when we are feeling anxious - visit our Mindfulness Resources webpage and give some of our suggestions a go.
Remember - you won’t have all the answers – no one has – but it will help your child to know that you are there for them; this in itself will help to contain your child’s fears and anxieties.
If you are concerned that you are unable to calm your child’s worries, talk to us – we are here to help: email Catherine here.